MIRRORS ARE SCARY!!!

Boo!

SO THAT'S WHERE HE'S BEEN HIDDING!!

Ha! I knew it! People have been saying that Tiger Woods was in rehab, I call bullshit! It is obvious he has been helping Ming Ping Ling (contestant number 3) at the Pussy Olympics. Dude take a nap!

Image via D-listed

THIS IS DEFINITELY SATISFACTIONING ME!

A little less conversation please, its time to shut up and watch a master at work. Here is Dolph Lundgren (I met him once) showing everyfuckingbody how to properly open an awards show. Work it you sexy fucker!

YUM!

THE GAYEST AD OF THE SUPERBOWL!!

Seriously, was this an ad against abortion or an ad for gay rights? because excuse me but that Tim Tebow came out looking gayer than Rupaul trying on a new pair of panties at a cross-dresser's convention. That hippity hop, that "oooh!" that escaped his pursed lips, that oh so fagottyliscious smile, not to mention his International Male tight muscle top. Really gurrrrrrl?? are you a football player or a stripper at The Cockshaft? ..hell even in his baby picture he looks like an A class cock sucker.

You better work it Timmy! Nice to know you are not nearly as nice as tough as your mother. Now stop focusing on the family and get back to focusing on whether or not you want a black dick or a white dick in your asshole for dinner.

HOW BIG IS THIS WEATHERMAN'S COCK???

Boston weatherman Pete Bouchard used an interesting way to describe the expected snowfall earlier this week by comparing it to the size of his own dick. No I'm not kidding.

I hear that after the broadcast the station got flooded with calls from horny viewers all over the Boston area asking to see if he was available to come "plow" their driveways. Enjoy!

THE SUPERBOWL SNOOZETIME SHOW

Jesus Christ!, was that a half time show or an 11 minute commercial for CBS' C.S.I. Franchise?? I kept on expecting David Caruso to come out and solve a crime or something. The Who? more like "The Who Gives A Fuck?" Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn!

They should have booked these guys!

THE WHY?

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WHO KNEW VANCOVER WAS SO BEAUTIFUL??

My dream in life is to one day move and become an Australian citizen but after seeing this video me thinks that a couple of year's stop in Vancouver may be necessary.

I THINK THE LADY IS A THIEF

OK, I'd never heard of Lady Antebellum before in my life but something funny happened to me last Sunday while watching The Grammys. I heard their new song "I need you now" for the first time on the Grammy show and immediately starting singing “eye in the sky” by Alan Parson Project in my head, so I paused the TIVO logged on to Youtube and searched for Alan's song and what do you know??? Twinsies!! It blows me away that the Grammy awards show would legitimize theft of a song when the industry preaches against theft by technology. Then again I may be wrong, but I'm curious guys, Listen to both songs and tell me if I'm crazy or not. Listen to the cadence of the drum, (electronic probably), the background rhythm guitar, cadence of lyrics in chorus (I am the eye in the sky looking at you I can read your mind vs It's a quarter after 1 , I'm a little drunk and I need you now) am I hearing things?

Alan Parson Project 1982

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

DENNIS QUAID IS MOTHERFUCKERS!!
Now that's how you do 56 bitches!

(I love finding new role models, dont you?)


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THANK YOU COLIN

Add Colin Firth to the list of people we have to love. After starring as a gay man in the super fantastic film "A single Man" this is what the succulent Brit had to say about Hollywwod's double standard concerning openly gay actors. Take the mike Colin:

“There might be risks for a gay actor coming out. The politics of that are quite complex, it seems to me. If you’re known as a straight guy, playing a gay role, you get rewarded for that. If you’re a gay man and you want to play a straight role, you don’t get cast — and if a gay man wants to play a gay role now, you don’t get cast. I think it needs to be addressed and I feel complicit in the problem. I don’t mean to be. I think we should all be allowed to play whoever — but I think there are still some invisible boundaries which are still uncrossable.”

A SINGLE MAN

Watch it!

The movie centers on a gay English professor who, after the sudden death of his partner tries to go about his typical day in Los Angeles. Cast includes: Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Matthew Goode, Lee Pace and Nicholas Hoult

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: JEDWARD

TALK AMONGST YOURSELVES.

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Courtesy Robert Barry

MADONNA IS SINGLE AGAIN.

Apparently, Baby Jesus barely realized that he has nothing in common with Vadge and the 200-year age difference between them is an issue. Basically, Baby Jesus finally got the faulty light switch in his head fixed. So he has packed his lunch box and left the crypt keeper of doom, (dlisted)

Madonna has split from her boytoy lover Jesus Luz, according to a new report.

The Material Girl is said to be single again after the Brazilian underwear model called off their relationship, citing their age difference and busy schedules, according to the Chicago Sun-Times.

The newspaper alleges, "It not only was totally amicable, but it was Luz who initiated the split. Apparently, the 23-year-old Brazilian realized their age difference (she's 51) and overall lack of mutual interests nixed a long-term relationship."

Madonna began dating Luz after they met at a December 2008 photoshoot for W magazine - just weeks before her divorce from director Guy Ritchie was finalised.


It could have been so beautiful....

VOGUE!


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THE OSCAR NODS ARE OUT

BEST PICTURE:
Avatar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air

DIRECTING:
Kathryn Bigelow - The Hurt Locker
James Cameron - Avatar
Lee Daniels - Precious
Jason Reitman - Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino - Inglourious Basterds

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE:
Jeff Bridges - Crazy Heart
George Clooney - Up in the Air
Colin Firth - A Single Man
Morgan Freeman - Invictus
Jeremy Renner - The Hurt Locker

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE:
Sandra Bullock - The Blind Side
Helen Mirren - The Last Station
Carey Mulligan - An Education
Gabourey Sidibe - Precious
Meryl Streep - Julie & Julia

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE:
Matt Damon - Invictus
Woody Harrelson - The Messenger
Christopher Plummer - The Last Station
Stanley Tucci - The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz - Inglourious Basterds

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE:
Penelope Cruz - Nine
Vera Farmiga - Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick - Up in the Air
Mo'Nique - Precious

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:
Neill Blomkamp and - District 9
Nick Hornby - An Education
Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci and Tony Roche - In the Loop
Geoffrey Fletcher - Precious
Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner - Up in the Air

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:
Mark Boal - The Hurt Locker
Quentin Tarantino - Inglourious Basterds
Oren Moverman and Alessandro Camon - The Messenger
Joel and Ethan Coen - A Serious Man
Pete Docter and Bob Peterson - Up

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM:
Ajami - Israel
El Secreto de sus Ojos - Argentina
The Milk of Sorrow - Peru
Une Prophéte - France
The White Ribbon - Germany

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM:
Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
The Secret of the Kells
Up

BEST ASSHOLE:
Mitchell Rote

Click here to see a full list.

FUCK YOU PHIL!

You know what you are mister groundhog smarty pants? you are a CUNTARSEVAGINACOCK! (there I said it!)

PS: add that word to your "dicktionary" fucklings.